Children have IMPECCABLE timing

So, I keep wanting to write something, but I tend to wait for a *spark* it doesn't always happen but when it does, it usually strikes me in a situation where I say to myself "now THIS is what I should blog about" in fact tonight, one could say it projected itself right into my lap...

I should start from the beginning, so I started my new job at Saks Fifth Avenue last week. Needless to say I have learned that while I do consider myself to have a girly-side I am absolutely NOT high maintenance. In fact, in the ten days I have been there I have spent more time *trying* to put myself together and look presentable and as if I belong there, than actually working. Okay, with that-I'll get straight to example a. in making my point. So my VERY FIRST day on the actual selling floor, my dear baby Charli, peed on my shift-dress during my lunch break. Just by happenstance, I had a $7.50 black polyester dress I got on clearance from Target that was literally thrown in my handbag in the back of the car. Not even kidding, I hadn't even tried it on (lesson learned in that regard!) So I scrubbed my skin-in efforts to get rid of the stench, put on the slightly oversized, completely wrinkled monstrosity and went back to work m.o.r.t.i.f.i.e.d. On to my second point, tonight, as the craze of our everynight dinner and bed routine was beginning to wind down. I carried my dear, precious child to her bed, hugged her and as I lifted her off my should she projectile vomited...everywhere. Her, me, the floor, the bed...everywhere. Le sigh. Word to the wise, bits of dino-nuggets and cottage cheese do not clean or vacuum up easy or at all well. (jic you were wondering)Leading me to my third and final example, while at dinner with family a few months ago my toddler decides (of course in the one moment that no one else is speaking) she expresses her feelings about her taco breaking with a very loud "dammit" :::Facepalm::: All eyes are on me and I ask myself, really? now? how are they soooo good at such bad timing???

I have daughters, I don't have boys. (Sorry, for the stereotype, but come on if you have kids, you've been with men and well...)But seriously, how do they know? Grocery stores, weddings, church, family dinners. HOW DO THEY KNOW? And why didn't any of those parenting books ever tell me that children have impeccable timing?

First Day of Preschool

Another project I stole from Pinterest... what a cute way to remember each first day of school, and fun to look back on how these favorites change from year to year :)

On another note, Viv's first day of school was today. My BABY is in SCHOOL. WTF did the hubbster and I allow this "growing up" thing to happen?!  I was not the blubbering mess I thought I would be this morning, because she was so excited to be there and happy to be be meeting new kiddos. I felt a little blue when she ran off to start her day, but felt more proud of her than anything else.

Love this little face! Couldn't be more proud and happy to be her mama!

Are Chicken Nuggets a Vegetable?

I've heard every age comes with it's struggles, terrible twos, treacherous threes, fiesty fours...I get it. My issue is that there's no book or how-to, that's a reliable source, to assist moms to keep their sanity through any or all of the above growing pains.

Truth be told, every age does come with it's struggles, for instance 27 for me...waaaaay harder than 26 and my husband can attest to this, lol. Most people struggle with the big 3-0, honestly, I am kind of looking forward to it. I hope to be a little bit better of a human being by that age-but that maay be 4-0. But for now, I am still working on 27 and maybe that's why the ages 3 and 13 months seem so challenging. Maybe it's not about the child's development, maybe it's more about mine, not as an individual, but as a parent...(hmmmm that's kind of deep, I didnt mean to go there...but okay,let's see where this goes...)

Still, regardless of the age, what is with the power struggle? The battle of the bottle with the baby or the toddler tug of war with words. Why do I get crazy after being asked the same question ten times, the child is simply interested? How do I explain what is "in a pea"? And really, is that even a valid question? How do you make a three year old understand that a pea IS what is IN a pea...why was I not taught this? Why isn't a chicken nugget a vegetable? What makes meat a protein vs whatever is IN the pea (mom-thought interruption: and if this is the case WTF is soybean??) HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW??????????? Meanwhile the baby is practically breaking the {empty} cookie jar and banging on the floor with pots and pans as I pay zero mind or attention to the noise (yeaaahh, right!)

This scenario is a nightly routine. I have read and re-read various blogs, research articles, parenting "how-to-not tos" and they all say something different but none actually help me. I read one the other day that suggested that if my daughter doesn't want to get dressed and the natural consequence is no playground then she'll learn she doesn't get to go and to let her not get dressed, stay home, save yourself the argument. Okay, fine but what if it's not the playground??? What if it's the grocery store or the drs??? Who in their right mind allows a 3 year old to make the decisions that run a household and daily schedule??? WTHell. Do not misunderstand, I am all for options and anyone who knows my children can attest to their individuality and the amount to which they are encouraged to be independent HOWEVER there is a line and a bit of grey area in there that even the most black and white viewed individual (myself included) must comply with; if not we will only raise entitled, self-righteous, lazy brats [if you are gasping and you are a. a parent-let's call a spade a spade and b. if you are not a parent-when you do become one you will think this too and can remember this blog and feel zero guilt] and after working in higher education and with youth for a good portion of my early career, I can say it is MUCH more difficult on the developing parent/role model to deal with a child who is 2-0 that 0-2 even including the most memorable of shopping market meltdowns.

Okay, rant over. So the bottom line is, how do I deal? What do I do? I pray every night for patience and I beleive wholeheartedly that I am doing the best that I can and I also believe that in the end my girls will be okay and be beautiful strong women, but am I doing it right? Am I irreversibly screwed up? Are they? Will they be? I worry about these things every single day. And then the answer just appears before me...it's "the man's fault" the same man who gave description to what's in a pea and who made meat a protein; who started the alphabet with A and not Q; the same MAN who doesn't have to field these questions bc they are of course, "mom" questions and yet again, the same MAN who tells me it's not okay to tell my children that "because mom said so" is not an acceptable answer to children. Well guess what, MAN...you're wrong and well, not to be mean but...you suck. Why??? Simple, because.i.said.so.

This is a Mom-ocracy...

At some point I will write what I'm sure will be an enormously long post all about the Terrible Twos vs. the Horrible Threes. However, I'm pooped and though I am uncharacteristically going to attempt to stay up and watch one of my favorite old movies, I'm not sure I have enough energy (physically or emotionally) to write that all out tonight.

However, this evening while Kiki and I chatted long distance, lamenting and laughing over the daily power struggle that is raising a 3 year old, I was reminded of something we wrote and giggled over some time ago. It seems more applicable than ever now!And while yes, parenting is tiring, frustrating and often leaves questioning whether you really are the boss, I wouldn't trade one single (even the exhausting ones) second that the hubs and I have shared with our sweet peanut! Tough but worth it!

I am the boss though, right?
Um....guys? Right?!

;-)

Confused Yet?

OKay, to read all things non-parenting related, please visit Kiki and I at our respective blogs:
Stilettos, Starbucks and Spit-Up
Blogdeedah!

Confused yet? Good, then our job is done here ;-)

My little cupcakes

As most parents, or at least I like to think what is most parents, I do my best to find the perfect recipe for parenting. 1/3 cup of empathy, 1/2 cup sympathy, 2 heaping full cups of creative and childlike play, 1/4 cup of redirection, 3/4 cup positive reinforcement, 1/2 cup of stern-not quite the fear of God but the fear of mom will suffice, a pinch of the lines in the sand have been drawn, and of course the rising agent for all children 18 tablespoons (1 added gradually each year) of priceless memories of fun times, great places, games, and conversations. Now, granted that this recipe changes sometimes minute to minute and admittedly sometimes (like a cake or two) no matter how well you *think* you have followed the directions, often you don't get the same taste. Well, no matter how much I love to bake this is a reality I have come to understand and accept that yes, in fact, my children have unknowingly become...my little cupcakes. Some days they turn out fantastic, great tasting, great looking, piped just right, with the perfect balance of frosting and cake ratio, very ready to impress. Like yesterday, when my beautiful darlings played and giggled, they loved the beach, used their manners, turned to me in a quiet car and said Mommy, I love you. My baby Charli-bear kissed me over and over to the sound of a pattern muah, muah, muah, muah. And went to bed without even a peep. Goodnight, sleep tight. What perfect little cupcakes, too bad I'm not having company so someone can see how REALLY GREAT I am at this baking thing. Seriously, I could totally own a bakery. Then there are those days where you follow the same recipe, but perhaps the oven was on for just a bit too long or maybe the eggs and the butter didn't quite come to room temp. It is on these days that even in my best attempts, I would still rather flick myself in the nose then have to tell my toddler (100 times) that her sister is not a ragdoll and to keep her hands to herself, fight over cutting a sandwich in the wrong direction, step on one more damn lego, repeat the same answer to the same question for the tenth time, watch one more episode of Doc McStuffin, and seriously my dear one year old, must you continue to break my blinds!!! ENOUGH! Mommy needs a TIME OUT! Alas, silence, duped, I have been followed into timeout...(posing the question to myself, am I demonstrating time out wrong too???) Conclusion: hideous, dry, YUCKY cupcakes-more than likely the ones served at tomorrow's brunch -of course they are. I don't have time to make another batch! Granted, not all batches are one extreme or the other and sometimes there are a few in between batches that either look crappy but taste phenomenal (alas, the teaching, breakthrough moments that only a parent truly understands the meaning and rareness of) or the ones that if nothing else we can patch up with a little bit of extra sweet frosting and pretty flower on top (edible of course) that makes it look like we did okay on this batch (I'll refer to this as the "grocery store" if you're a mom-you get this!) Is this making sense? Do you get it? Or is it just me? I know I am asking for alot here, but I'm a woman and I have to admit-who settles for mediocre baked goods?

"Controversial"?

I'm not really one to get political, and I don't plan on writing some outrageous rant here (now or ever), but ohhhmahgawwwd I have to write at least a blurb about this. So, we recently purchased Postcards From Buster on DVD because we're big fans of the Arthur books... and *finally* got to watch the "controversial" Vermont episode. This originally aired in 2004 and then was immediately taken out of the show's rotation (all traces of the episode's existence were also ripped off the channel's website). After watching it, I'm not quite sure what all the uproar was about, unless you're easily offended by happy kids, parents that love each other, sugar on snow and sharp cheddar cheese.
Scandalous!
The only thing I found even remotely controversial was the fact that Buster was hell bent on giving his single mother a cucumber for Mother's Day. Oh COME ON, you know you were thinking it too! #WTF #Gigglesnort #obsessivehashtags